Monday, March 12, 2018

March 12

On the evening of March 12th, 2017, Gerald and Regina Wannamaker of Newport, CA, were distressed to return from a weekend sail to Catalina Island, and find that neither their gardener, Raul, nor their pool boy, Joaquin, had tended to their duties, and readied the grounds for their upcoming GOP fundraising garden party. Upon learning from their housekeeper, Juanita, that Raul and Joaquin had both been visited at the house by a squad of ICE officers, and taken away in handcuffs, due to their questionable immigration statuses, the Wannamakers became very concerned - concerned about their own fates. An emergency consultation with their attorney put their minds at ease, as she assured them that they would face no legal repercussions for employing "illegals," because, "the system doesn't work that way." After hiring temporary staff to get the grounds looking perfect, and hosting a lucrative fundraiser, the Wannamakers fired Juanita, explaining that her having answered the door when ICE had shown up had caused them extreme anguish and very nearly ruined their party. 

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