Thursday, March 2, 2017

March 1

On this day in 2017, Marthe Killington-Smith of Racine, Wisconsin attended a matinee screening of Get Out, expecting a light-hearted negro farce, the likes of which she had not experienced since the days of Amos 'n Andy. She had to be removed from the theater by paramedics 15 minutes after the movie started, as she passed out cold from shock, revulsion, fear, and an overwhelming sensation of, "these people make EVERYTHING about race!" Unfortunately for Killington-Smith, the day's trauma was far from over. She regained consciousness in transit, and awoke to find an African American EMT taking her pulse, which caused her to scream bloody murder. Although she was fully dressed, and ParaCam video clearly shows the EMT holding her wrist and measuring her pulse on his watch, Killington-Smith demanded a rape kit and has retained a lawyer, with the intention of filing suit against the city of Racine for reckless endangerment.

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